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Many things about a wedding are a matter of taste, such as your bridal gown, wedding jewelry, centerpieces, and music. Some things, however, are very clearly defined by traditional wedding etiquette, and to deviate from the expected is to risk offending many people. Invitations definitely fall into the category of being ruled by etiquette, but there can be some confusion about the proper usage of them. This is a look at the difference between a wedding invitation and a wedding announcement, as well as when each is appropriate.
First the fundamentals. What is the purpose of a wedding invitation? To ask your friends and family to put on their best clothes and jewelry and join you in celebration of your wedding. After all, one of the first lines in every invitation is the phrase requesting the recipient’s presence at the wedding. Traditional phrases are “the pleasure of your company is requested” or “the honor of your presence is requested”. In case you were wondering what the difference is, the former is to be used for a wedding in a secular location, and the latter is the correct form for a church or synagogue ceremony.
The other reason to issue an invitation is to let your guests know when and where the event will take place. You want all the information in one place, which is why the wedding invitation is very specific. While a save the date card might just let people know who is getting married and when, the official invitation should have the date, time, location (with street address, if necessary), and city. The obvious reason for this is so that anyone who plans to attend can find their way with ease.
So who should receive a wedding invitation? Anyone you actually wish to have attend your wedding! Make sure to only send as many invites as the number of guests you can genuinely accommodate. Far too many couples have sent out 110 invitations for a venue that only fits 100 people, counting on a 10% decline rate…only to have everyone accept! Invitations should be sent out about six to eight weeks before the wedding to allow sufficient time for everyone to R.s.v.p., as well as so guests can make their travel plans. If you feel the need to inform your guests about your wedding further out than that (perhaps if your wedding will take place on a holiday weekend), send out a save the date card up to six months in advance, and the formal invitation within the usual time frame.
