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Despite how much reality shows like The Bachelor and Married at First Sight trivialise the idea of marriage, it’s still a very serious undertaking. It’s a massive step for any relationship, and will inevitably bring about change. Don’t let all this seriousness get you down, it’s still very exciting! You don’t have to agree on everything, but understanding where your partner stands on certain issues is important.
Here are the 5 main things you need to think about before getting engaged:
1. Marriage
What are your motivations for getting married? Do you actually need to get married? For some couples, marriage will simply be a formal process, without changing their relationship much.
If you want to proceed down the aisle, be sure to plan an amazing proposal and get the perfect Valentina Engagement Ring.
2. Health
There is a lot to consider in this area. Do either of you have any ongoing conditions and is there a plan to manage them? When either of your parents gets older, is there an expectation to care for them or have them live with you? What are views on things such as GP’s, therapy, alternative medicine and vaccines?
3. Career
What are your individual career goals? Would either partner need to help prioritize the other’s career in the future? Would you be willing to relocate? Does either partner’s job require a lot of travel and would you be ok with that?
4. Family
This is where the big question of kids comes up. Would you like kids? If so, how many? When would you like to have them? What are your views on parenting, do you agree – theoretically – on a parenting style? What are your expectations on childcare vs staying at home etc.
You also need to discuss your partner’s relationship with their family. Is it healthy, if not, why? Are they close with parents, siblings etc and how often would they like to see them? You’ll need to know all of this as their family will become yours!
5. Views
You might not see eye to eye on everything, but knowing where your partner stands on the big things is crucial. What are their political views? Do they lean in a certain direction? Are they religious? If so, what is their faith and how important is it to them? Is it personal or do they hope to share it with your children?
One of the worst you can do in a marriage is prolonging tough conversations. A little bit of discomfort early on will save a lot of heartache down the road. The best you can when having these conversations is to be open and listen to your partner. Remember you’re in this together and trying to get on the same page as best you can. Good luck!
